Rules of Conversing
by JFG107
Summary: After the events of TDWT, an unknown person pays two contestants to teach Ezekiel how to function in society. Currently on Lesson 7.
1. Diagnostic Test: Feral Tendencies Reborn

**Rules of Conversing**

**AN-This is my first TD Fanfic. I'm also asking for a beta reader for my other project Total Drama Colors.**

**The Diagnostic Test—Feral Tendencies Reborn**

A nurse walked down the hallway towards a ward. She went inside to check on a patient admitted a month ago. "Ezekiel?" the nurse asked. There was no response. "Today, we're going to start something new. Someone paid a large sum of money to get you out of here and get into the 'real world' and not what you are used to." Once again, there was no response. "Can you walk?" the nurse added. Zeke slowly got out of the bed he was sleeping in. This was the first time he was able to walk after his season three ordeal.

Ezekiel walked out of the room, following the nurse. "I'm pretty sure you know the therapists. They're some of your old competitors." Zeke was silent, and a little horrified. These were the people that never wanted to be his friend. The two of them reached the therapy room. "This is where you will have social therapy, in order to make it in society, and maybe to make a few friends." Ezekiel was still silent. He hadn't said a single word since he was admitted into the hospital. However, this was about to change as he entered the therapy room.

The therapy room had two guys sitting on a brown couch. There was nothing else in the room that Zeke could see right off the bat. The nurse said one last thing to the homeschooled kid, "I'll be back at 5:00 to pick you up. Trent, Tyler, go easy on him. He's very sensitive."

"Okay," Trent said as the nurse left. Trent and Tyler were still sitting on the couch as Trent started to say something to Ezekiel, "Can you say anything?" Zeke was silent. "Oh, I thought you were the talkative type. Do you remember anything?" Ezekiel nodded his head. The whole ordeal in the plane really screwed up his memory. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Uh, Ezekiel…eh?"

Trent answered, "Well, that's a start. Well, I'm not sure if you remember us, but I'm Trent, and that guy to my left in the red track suit is Tyler."

"Okay."

"We're your therapists. Some guy hired us because he thought we would be the best for someone like you."

"I don't know anything about therapy," Tyler added, "But I may know how to make friends."

Trent continued, "We're here to be your friend, and to teach you how to function in society. Today, we'll just do a diagnostic test to see where you're at. Tyler here is going to write down what he sees while I let you do whatever you want to me."

"Huh?" Ezekiel asked.

"You're going to try and interact with me like you think you should, then we'll start our lessons from there. Got it?" Ezekiel nodded, then Trent continued, "I'll start a conversation. Pretend we haven't met before."

Trent started the conversation, "What's up, man?"

Zeke didn't know what to respond to that, not even the literal answer of "I think I see a bird." All he remember doing to the contestants was fighting with them and clawing them. Ezekiel thought Trent was being hostile, so he lunged forward and started to claw on Trent. "Tyler! Help here! He's gone feral again!"

Tyler stopped writing, got up, and tried to pull Ezekiel from Trent, but he was too strong. Tyler then remembered what Alejandro did in Tanzania earlier to stop a feral homeschool by finding a sedative. It took him a while to find one, until a nurse in the hallway saw the fighting and clawing in the therapy room. The nurse got out two tranquilizer darts and put Trent and Zeke right to sleep.

The nurse managed to separate Trent and Ezekiel after they were tranquilized. Both of them were placed into separate wards to rest. Trent was completely clawed up, with a torn shirt and a few scars all over his body. The nurse had one last thing to say to Tyler, "You're on your own now. Our client is paying big bucks to make sure Ezekiel can function in society." Tyler then came back to the room and thought to himself, "This is going to be a long therapy session."


	2. Lesson 1: What's up, Man?

**AN: This story might not be updated for a while. I've been very busy with school lately.**

**I might start Total Drama Colors, and go from there. I still think the OC host's a Gary Stu, but we'll see what happens.**

**Lesson 1—"What's up, Man?"**

A week passed. The nurse went to Ezekiel's room to get him for his first lesson in society. Both Zeke and the nurse went back to the room with the brown couch, but this time, the nurse stayed. Tyler was already there, trying to draw on his sketchpad, but he couldn't even draw a circle correctly as his pen starting scratching every part of the page. "Ready nurse?" He asked the nurse as she got out a notepad of her own, as well as a rope. "Is that rope going to be strong enough?"

The nurse and Tyler tried to work together to tie Ezekiel to a post in the center of the room. It took three attempts. The first time, Tyler ended up tying himself to the post instead, and the second time, he tripped over the rope. After Zeke was finally tied up, the nurse left and Tyler started the session. "Zeke, remember me from last week?"

No response. Tyler continued, "Let's recap. My name's Tyler and I'm your therapist. Can you say my name? Can you say anything?"

Ezekiel tried to open his mouth, "Uh, T..t..Trent, eh?"

"Why does everyone forget my name! I broke up with Lindsay because she forgot my name at our wedding rehearsal! Okay, Zeke, My name is Tyler! T-Y-L-E-R! Got it!"

"O..K.."

Tyler then continued where he left off, "Now, we're going to try to greet someone properly this time. Since you're strapped up to this pole, you won't be able to attack me. Now if I say 'Hello', you say 'Hello' or 'Hi' back to me."

"Okay, eh."

"Hello, Ezekiel."

No response.

"Let's try this again. Hello, Ezekiel."

"Uh, hi Trent."

Tyler then facepalmed. "For the last time, my name's not Trent! Sheesh! Now, there are other ways to say hello. For example, you could say, 'What's up?' I say that one all the time to my friends."

"Okay?" Ezekiel was a little confused. He never really understood the meaning of that particular phrase. "Can I just point up, eh?"

"No. Not if you want to get stared at and laughed at. Now, I'm going to say what's up to you, and you try to tell me the best response. Ready?" Zeke wasn't really ready, but Tyler still continued. "What's up, man?"

"All I see's the ceiling."

Tyler facepalmed again. "Try again. You're being literal, Zeke."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you take the exact meaning of each word. "'What's up' is a type of figurative speech that has a hidden meaning. A good response would be, 'not much' or you could say 'what's up' back to me." Tyler than greeted Zeke again, "What's up?"

"Nothing, eh?"

Tyler's face beamed, "FINALLY! We're making progress."

"Can you untie me now? I'm getting a little dizzy."

"Sorry, Zeke. I don't think I can trust you yet. Now where were we? Now, after saying hello, you can ask how they're doing. So, how are you doing Zeke?"

"I'm still dizzy, eh?, and mad at you for tying me up to this pole!"

"Good. Now ask me how I'm doing."

Ezekiel didn't really want to know 'how Tyler was doing,' so he stayed silent. Ten seconds later, he finally asked, "How are you today?"

Tyler then started to answer, "Well…I'm not happy right now. Some person is forcing me to help you socialize while I could be hanging out with friends. Why couldn't they get someone like Owen to be your therapist? He's all happy happy [sic] and stuff. He's got way more friends than I do, and my life is a wreck!"

"Why are you all emotional, eh?" At this point, Zeke was starting to catch on.

"Just, I don't know. Wait! You actually care about my life? Congratulations! You passed the first half of today's lesson! Now, let me untie you." Tyler then slowly untied the homeschooled kid from the pole, and gave him a quick hug. "That'll do for today, but you still have a lot to learn." Tyler then escorted Ezekiel back to his hospital ward and told the nurse what happened.

"He's making a little progress, but he doesn't remember my name." Tyler said to the nurse as he was checking out for the day.

"He'll eventually remember you, Todd." The nurse replied.

"Ugh! It's TYLER!"

"Alrighty then, Timmy."

Tyler then screamed in anger, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Then he left the hospital.


	3. Lesson 2: Having a Conversation

**AN: Not much to say here. I've been pretty busy lately. Read and Review! Don't forget to read my other story Total Drama Colors!**

**Lesson 2—Having a Conversation**

"Wake up." Ezekiel's nurse tried to wake him up, "It's time for therapy."

"I don't want to go, eh?"

"Tyler's already here. You've got to wake up."

The nurse and Ezekiel continued to argue until Zeke reluctantly woke up, put on his blue toque and green hoodie, and followed the nurse. He actually managed to put on his own clothes for the first time today. The two of them went through the hospital to the therapy room, where Tyler was waiting for them. "Tyler, I'll be back at five."

Ezekiel went into the room and sat on the brown couch next to Tyler. "What's up, eh?" He asked.

"You remember! I think you're ready to move on. Today, our other therapist Trent is here."

"Who's Trent, eh?"

"The guy you clawed two sessions ago."

Ezekiel's memory was not the best. He did not remember clawing anyone in the past, and even the past two weeks were fuzzy. All he remembers was hanging onto a plane in Egypt then waking up three months later in a hospital ward.

Trent walked into the room, recovered from two weeks ago. After he sat down on the brown couch, Tyler then started to explain this week's therapy goal. "Today, Trent and I are going to teach you how to interact in a conversation."

Trent then continued, "Our goal is that the two of us would be talking about a particular subject matter, and then you would join in and contribute without interrupting."

"OK, eh?" Zeke replied.

"To make this easy, What do you like to do?" Trent asked, while Tyler started to take notes.

"I dunno."

"I'm into music, and Tyler here's into sports. Do you like music or sports?"

"I can play harmonica, eh?"

"Really? I didn't know that! I play the guitar. Maybe we can jam together."

"What? Make jam together?"

"No, Zeke. Not that kind of 'jam'. I mean we could play music together."

"OK, eh."

Tyler then changed the subject. "Do you like any sports, Zeke?"

"I dunno any." Zeke replied. Trent was taking notes where Tyler left off.

"What did you do on the farm for fun?"

"I didn't get much free time. I had to feed the horses and my bull after home school every day."

"Ok, then. I'll catch you up on sports later, so Trent and I will talk about music for now. Your goal is to act like you know what we're talking about." Tyler took over note taking as he continued. "Just try to add to the conversation and you'll be OK."

"OK. I'll try." Zeke replied.

Tyler then asked Trent, "You know System of a Down got back together, right?"

Trent replied, "I heard about that. Too bad they're touring Europe first. They aren't even coming to Canada for a while. Any other bands you like?"

"Too many to count, Trent. Red Hot Chili Peppers for one."

"I'm a big John Mayer fan myself."

"OK."

While Trent and Tyler were talking, Ezekiel had no idea what was going on. He never heard of any of these bands, "Who are these guys, eh?" He asked.

"They're bands. They play music." Trent replied. "Do you have any favorite bands?"

"I've never heard of any of these. I have no idea, eh?"

"Tell you what." Tyler started to ask, "Why don't I get you a few rap CD's so you can get acquainted with popular music. I noticed you got into rap while you were at Playa de Losers. Trent's more into pop music, and I'm into rock music myself with a little bit of metal."

"OK, I guess."

"Get some rest, Zeke. I'll get the nurses to let you out of the hospital for therapy sessions from now on. You seem to be able to at least try to have a conversation with us." Trent and Tyler noted the progress that Ezekiel was making, and told the nurse what was going on.

"I can't let Ezekiel out now. He may be able to speak, but he won't survive outside the hospital."

"Trent and I will make sure he's safe." Tyler assured the nurse.

"You get two hours to go anywhere in Toronto. He must eat and sleep here for now."

"Fair enough." Tyler replied.

After that exchange of words, Ezekiel went back to his room. After saying goodbye, Trent and Tyler left the hospital.


	4. Lesson 3: The Big City

**AN: How am I doing on this? I haven't got that many reviews for either story.**

**Lesson 3—The Big City**

The nurse woke Ezekiel up from his deep sleep in his hospital ward. Trent and Tyler were already there waiting for the homeschooled kid to wake up for their tour of the city. After ten minutes, Ezekiel was dressed in his usual green hoodie and blue toque and followed his friends out of the Hospital.

"Wow!" Zeke exclaimed as he left the hospital for the first time. "What is this place, eh?"

"We're in central Toronto." Tyler answered. "Trent and I are going to take you to the music store to buy you a rap CD."

"Taxi!" Trent yelled as a taxi driver pulled over in front of the hospital quickly, almost sideswiping Trent in the process. All three guys got into the taxi, as Trent showed the cab driver the address of their destination.

"What just happened?" Ezekiel asked as he got comfortable in the back seat.

"This is a taxi, Zeke."

"What? You ain't never heard of a taxi man?" the taxi driver asked.

"My friend here's from Nunavut up north. He's never really been to the city." Trent answered.

The taxi driver laughed. "Well, you hicks and your backwards ways of thinking." Ezekiel got a little intimidated by the taxi driver's insult. "Don't worry man, I'm just joshing you. I'll take you to wherever you need, prairie boy."

The taxi continued going through Toronto until it stopped right by a mall. Trent paid the fare, plus a small tip, and all three of the guys got out. "What was all that about, eh?" Zeke asked his two friends.

"OK, Zeke." Trent answered. "That was a taxi ride. I paid money for that guy to take us here. We'll be taking a taxi back as well. Now let's get that CD."

"Just try and stay with us, and you'll be OK here." Tyler added as all three of them entered the mall.

The mall was huge. It had two full stories full of shops—mostly clothing—but shops none the less. Tyler found a directory on the first floor not far from the entrance. "The record store! It's upstairs!"

"What is this place, eh?" Zeke had another question.

"This is a mall. We do a lot of shopping here. It's mostly girl stuff. Tyler's ex-girlfriend shopped here nine hours a day."

"She made me go with her and carry seventy pounds of makeup." Tyler stated in response to Trent.

"Gwen didn't use that much. Only blue lipstick."

"Lindsay would try on eighty different brands of lipstick until she found the perfect one for the blouse she was wearing."

"HEY!" Ezekiel shouted as two strangers approached him. Trent and Tyler turned around to see what was the matter. "Who are you guys?"

"Geez, man." One of the strangers answered. "What's this guy's problem? We just wanted directions to the CN Tower."

"Just ask someone else." The other stranger said as they left the mall.

"Zeke?" Trent approached Ezekiel as fast as he could. Tyler was following him slowly. "What happened, man?"

"These two guys, they tried to rob me!"

Tyler butted in. "Sounded like they were asking for directions, not robbing you. We'll work on that next therapy session. Anyway, we need to get that rap CD." All three guys went up to the second floor to find the record store, and they quickly found the rap section. "Here you are." Tyler continued. "Take your pick. We'll be paying for it."

Ezekiel made a selection slowly. He even learned to us the live preview feature not far from where the CD's were. After listening to a few songs, Zeke finally made a decision. "Which one?" Trent asked.

"This." Ezekiel showed Trent the CD and took it up to the counter. Trent paid for the CD and all three of them left the store. "I'm hungry, eh?"

"We'll get you something to eat here. There's a food court." Tyler answered.

"Wait, Tyler!" Trent interrupted. "The nurse said Zeke had to eat at the hospital!"

"I want to eat here." Zeke answered.

"Fine." Trent said.

"That's my boy." Tyler added as he patted Ezekiel on the back. All three of them went to the food court, grabbed a bite to eat, and left the mall. After another taxi ride, they arrived at the hospital together. The nurse was waiting for them. "I'm glad you're back, Ezekiel."

Zeke said nothing. Trent and Tyler followed him and the nurse back to his hospital ward. After setting Zeke's rap CD on the side of his bed, they said their goodbyes to their homeschooled friend, and then the nurse pulled them aside. "I said one hour." She said.

"That's not long enough." Trent answered. "It took us thirty minutes just to get to the mall!"

"The mall? Much too dangerous. Don't take Ezekiel there again."

"He needs to learn to function in society, right? The mall's the perfect place!"

"Still too dangerous. He could be robbed, or even worse, murdered."

"Tyler and I got his back. We'll make sure nothing happens to him, right?"

Tyler nodded his head in agreement. "That's all that's important."

"I want him here next week, though."

"Fine."

After those last words, Trent and Tyler left the hospital together.


	5. Journal Set 1

**AN: This is not the next lesson, and parts of TDAT are incorporated into this story. These two stories happen at the same time.**

**The first three journal entries are in Ezekiel's POV, and the last one is in Tyler's.**

**I made up the last names of Kolanski and Collins, since no confirmed last names are confirmed on the show.**

**Journal Entries 1-3**

**_Entry 1: New Friends and Realizations_**

Trent suggested I write a journal regarding my therapy sessions. I know it's hard to write as my hand keeps shaking, but I hope it can be readable. I'm glad I have Trent and Tyler to protect me. They're the friends I never had on my time on the show, and Tyler told me he didn't vote me off that night.

I'm relearning everything I forgot after season 3. I did some really stupid stuff. I'm grateful there is someone who is a fan of me and let me get a second chance in life. Though I never thought I could survive total immersion in lava. I heard about Alejandro in how he had to be put on life support.

I've got to go. The nurse is going to feed me lunch. Write you later.

Ezekiel J. Kolanski

**_Entry 2: Chris's Crimes_**

Chris is currently airing another season, though the producers wouldn't let him pitch that radioactive island scenario he wanted. Instead, he's taking the contestants around the States. Why isn't he in prison, eh? My parents are suing him and the producers for me, and I hope they win. I want him to die for his crimes against me.

At least I got more info about the guy who put me in this hospital. His name's Glenn. We met last week and he seems like a nice guy. He went to the TDAT Aftermath and won guitar lessons from Trent. Trent told me he was an ass, but he was extremely nice to me. I wonder why.

Tyler gave me a back massage yesterday. He told me le's learning them for sports medicine or something, but it felt really good. I'd say that Tyler's my best friend in the whole world, and I mean it, too. Trent's OK, but I'd rather hang out with Tyler.

I've got to go. Tyler and Trent are here to take me somewhere.

Ezekiel J. Kolanski

**_Entry 3: Music for my Ears_**

I got a rap CD from my two best buds. I've been listening to it non-stop. In fact, the nurse keeps telling me to turn the music down, but it's so good. The city is huge! I felt like it overwhelmed me just going to the mall. I still don't know what those two guys wanted from me, but they definitely freaked me out.

Tyler came back the next day and we talked for a while. He had his arm around my shoulder but it was so heavy I was in pain. He apologized and said that I should start working out. Tyler must be really strong, eh? I guess to apologize, he let me draw on his arm using some markers. I drew him and me together and a happy face right on his bicep. The nurse even took a picture of it.

We're getting along great, and Chris McLean is finally on trial, despite the fact he's still hosting TDAT. His lawyers are defending in his place, as he's somewhere in the States. I heard about the robot mess at EPCOT on the news.

I hate being confined to the hospital. The only good days are when Trent and Tyler show up. The nurse is okay to talk to once in a while, but I'd rather talk to a guy. Trent keeps telling me I shouldn't say that because he thinks it's sexist, but it's all I know.

I've got to go now.

Ezekiel J. Kolanski

**_Tyler's Entry 1: A Friend in Need_**

Someone named Glenn Merkel paid Trent and I to help Ezekiel function in society. I don't know why. I felt sorry for the poor guy, but I guess I'll do it. I went into the hospital, and found the feral guy strapped to the bed. We had a few sessions before he was able to talk. We then had to team him how to talk to people like Trent and me.

To be honest, I never knew how to spell Zeke's name before this, and now he's my best friend. I did apologize for crushing him with my arm, but he needs to get stronger. Right now, while he's still learning, I'll let him do whatever he wants to me. As long as he doesn't kill me or attack us, I'm good.

He's still interested in Bridgette, and wants to date her. I don't want to tell him the sad news that she and Geoff got married last week, but he still needs to learn how to date someone. It will feel awkward for me, and maybe for him, but I'm going to act as a girl during out dating sessions. That's part of why I let Zeke draw on my arm that one day, so he can get used to what I feel like.

We're going to a baseball game next week, then we'll start mock dating. God help me as I'm about to kiss another guy. I'll make sure Trent doesn't watch this or he'll put it on YouTube. I know him, and he helped me out for a while after my injuries at Area 51. He's a pit of a prankster though. Luckily, he hasn't done anything to Zeke yet.

I wrote this much? Wow. I should be a writer. Maybe I'll write about hockey sports stars. Ezekiel needs me right now, so I've got to go.

Tyler M. Collins


	6. Lesson 4: Canadian Baseball

**AN: No one reviewed last week. Not even the people from TDAT. I would like to have some feedback from the story.**

**Lesson 4—Canadian Baseball**

Ezekiel continued receiving lessons with Trent and Tyler for a few weeks in the hospital. Most of them were unremarkable, but Ezekiel was making some progress. After a few more sessions, the nurse finally let Trent and Tyler take him out of the hospital for a while.

***In the ward***

"Sure. We'll be back tomorrow." Trent was telling the nurse, who just authorized Ezekiel's leave.

"Where are we going, eh?" Zeke asked his black-haired friend.

"Tyler and I are taking you out to a Blue Jays game."

"OK?" Zeke answered, as the three guys left the hospital. Trent called a taxi, and it happened to be the same taxi driver that took the three guys to the mall. "Well, if it ain't the hick and his two buddies again!"

All three guys got into the back seat of the taxi, with Zeke in the middle. He felt a little uncomfortable being in between two guys, and with Tyler extending his left arm over the prairie boy's shoulder. "What are you doing, eh?"

"Relaxing my arm. It's stiff."

Trent followed, only with his right arm. "Come on, man. Loosen up a little."

"OK then." Ezekiel extended both of his arms, his left hooking around Trent's neck, and his right resting around Tyler's. With everyone's arms around their shoulders, all three started singing together, "Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd…"

After a few rounds of the famous baseball song, all three of them arrived at the stadium. Tyler told his friends, "Our seat numbers are G6-G8. Luckily, we're behind the plate."

"Why there? No way I can catch a foul ball!" Trent answered.

"Are you kidding, Trent? That's the perfect spot!"

"But there's a cage blocking us."

"They can go over, Trent. Don't worry about it."

Ezekiel stayed quiet as the jock and musician continued talking in the back seat of the taxi. Eventually they arrived at the stadium. As they approached the ticket office, Trent paid for the tickets. "Three teens, please."

"$36 please."

Trent paid the money to the clerk and all three guys went inside. It took a while for them to find their seats. Once they got seated, there was really nothing to do. "I'll go get refreshments." Tyler told his friends as he left for the concession stand.

He came back with three bottles of root beer and some hot dogs. "No popcorn man?" Trent asked.

"I'm a hot dog guy."

"Weird."

"And you're the nine-obsessed guy."

"And you're the one who going to kiss Zeke."

"Don't go there!"

"Oh, I'm going there!"

"STOP!" Ezekiel yelled out, alerting the two bickering at each other.

"What's wrong, Zeke?" Trent asked.

"You two aren't having fun here? I want to go back."

"What?"

"Trent and I are done arguing." Tyler interrupted. "I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings. I'll buy you something special after the game."

The three of them sat in the stands waiting for the game to start. The American national anthem played in honor of the visiting team, then the Canadian national anthem played, in honor of the Blue Jays and the fans. The three friends weren't really focused on the game itself as they were looking around the stands.

"Number 2 SUCKS!" Someone in the audience was not happy.

"Left! Right! Left! Right! YEAHHHHHHHH!" Ezekiel thought it was nothing but noise. The crowd was going wild that someone just struck out, despite the fact it was one of the Blue Jays.

"What's all that for, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"They're just hecklers. Just ignore them." Trent answered.

"One beer too many." Tyler added.

"You know, can't we get some beer?"

"There is no way I'm getting Ezekiel drunk!"

"Fine. I thought you loved beer."

"I do, but not now. I'm fine with my hot dog and root beer."

"Well root beer does have 'beer' in the name."

The game continued as the three friends continued having a good time, laughing among themselves and each other. Six innings later, it was time to get up again. "Why are we getting up?" Zeke asked Trent.

"Dude. It's the seventh inning stretch. Just get up and stretch."

Ezekiel got up yawned a little, and stretched his legs, being sore from sitting in the stands for so long. Everyone sat back down to watch the rest of the game. Two innings later, the game was over, and the Blue Jays won. The crowd was so happy that it was a good game, as the other team scored quite a few runs.

All three guys went back to the hospital to drop off Zeke, who was getting very tired from the baseball game. After dropping him off, Trent and Tyler went to a dark hall to talk about something.

"You think he's ready?"

"I'm NOT going to kiss him."

"He's going to kiss you. Just pretend you're Bridgette and we can get past this part of the therapy!"

"Dude, you play her! You're more her type anyway!"

"Uh, no. You're the one who's closer to him. You've known him longer."

"So. We just held hands at the TDI finale. You actually talked to him."

"Holding hands, huh? You lied to us! You like guys, don't you!"

"We're just friends!"

Trent and Tyler kept arguing in the hallway until a nurse spotted them, forcing them to leave.


	7. Lesson 5: Basic Romance

**Lesson 5—Basic Romance**

_This lesson takes place three weeks after Lesson 4. Also watch out for same-sex romance, but it's for therapy purposes._

"Zeke? Zekie?" Ezekiel heard a voice. "It's time for your next lesson." The homeschooled kid woke up, got dressed, and went into the therapy room, but instead of Trent and Tyler, it was the nurse. "Wake up sleepyhead. Your friends will be here in a minute, but you will be staying in here today."

"Why? I really want to go outside and learn about the city."

"Your therapists are in a lot of trouble after that baseball game a few weeks back. They will have to stay here and watch you." The nurse then spoke through a headset. "Send them in."

Trent and Tyler promptly came into the therapy room to start the lesson. Trent was the first to speak. "I think you're ready for dating."

"I am?" Zeke responded.

"Sure. Gotta start somewhere. Now, Tyler here is going to pretend to be a girl on your date."

"WHAT?" Tyler interrupted.

"We agreed to this. You be the girl Zeke dates while I take notes and laugh at your expense."

"Why me?"

"Cause you're so into your heternormativity that it would be perfect to show that you can have a tolerance for homosexuals. It's therapy for both of you."

"I don't want to do this either."Zeke added.

"There aren't any real girls in the hospital and Bridgette's in BC, and since Mr. Merkel threatened to sue us if we don't help you, we have to do the lesson with Tyler here, okay?"

"Fine." Zeke and Tyler reluctantly agreed. The two got into position with Ezekiel in one corner of the room and Tyler in the opposite corner.

Trent started the simulation. "Ezekiel sees a beautiful brown-haired lady wearing a red tracksuit swooning over him…"

"You know what I see?"

"We agreed to this."

"A black-haired guy wearing a green shirt with a handprint on it getting beaten to death if he doesn't stop!"

"Fine. Tyler, but this Bridgette mask on, and this blue hoodie." Tyler went into the bathroom to change clothes until he looked like a muscular Bridgette wearing a funny mask. After two minutes of laughter from Trent and Zeke, Trent restarted the simulation. "Shall we begin again? Here's the deal. Ezekiel sees a sexy blonde chick that really likes surfing. He approaches her to say hello."

Ezekiel started to approach Tyler. Being nervous about asking him on a date, he said a few words. "Uh, hi, eh?"

"Girls like guys with confidence!" Trent shouted. It took Zeke a few tries to impress Tyler, but eventually he succeeded. The two guys sit together at a table in the therapy room for the next part of the date. "Next, you must order a meal for him. Since this is my fake French restaurant _Le_ _Neufième Chez_, I'll have to provide prop steak and lobster. Now what can I get for you two fine people?"

"I'll take a grand lobster tail, and the lady will have steak."

"_Oui, oui monsieur Ezekiel! Qu'est-ce que boire?"_

_"Deux Cokes, s'il te plait."_

"You got the drink part right, but if you're going to say you to a waiter like me, treat me as a stranger and call me _vous_, okay? Remember, I'm a stranger in this simulation."

_"Desolé, Trent."_

"I'll be right back." Trent left the table to get the prop food for the two guests. When he arrived, he had an apology to make. "I'm sorry, but the restaurant kitchen was out of real food, so you two will have to eat this prop food. _L'homard pour vous, monsieur, et steak-frites pour la femme. Bon appétit!"_

The two guys attempt to eat their food, with Trent coaching Ezekiel how to eat properly. "Put your napkin on your lap. Show some respect for the lady. Treat Tyler here as if he was the real Bridgette." Trent's advice went on and on, as the two guys mock ate their mock food. Eventually they were ready for the next phase of the date. "Okay, Zeke. Girls love it if you sweep them off their feet and give them back massages."

"Okay?" Ezekiel tried to lift Tyler, but he was way too heavy and Ezekiel was in rapid pain. "Ow! How much do you weigh, eh?"

"Twice as much as you, at least. Can we skip this step?"

"Okay. We'll get to the weight-training lessons later, but for now, pretend 'Bridgette' here has had a rough day, and wants a nice back massage to relieve some of the tension in 'her' life. Tyler, lie down on your stomach." Tyler took off the blue hoodie and lied down on his stomach so that Ezekiel could give him a proper massage. Trent continued explaining things. "If you want to impress Bridgette, you have to know how to give a good massage. The chick's really into alternative medicines and so you'll only get one shot. By the way, here's some cream…"

"Dude, eh?" Ezekiel rejected even touching another guy.

"Something wrong? Even Tyler's agreed to this."

"I don't want to touch another guy."

"Just pretend he's a girl. It's not that hard. In fact, he's asleep right now, so it'll be easy." Trent pointed to the now sleeping Tyler. After a few minutes of coaching Ezekiel started the back work under Trent's advice. Within an hour, Tyler felt very relieved of his back tension, and got used to Zeke's hands.

"Well, that concludes today's lesson."Trent said. "We'll see you next week. You've got to keep trying and eventually, you can impress the real Bridgette, provided she and Geoff don't get married."

"What?"

"You have two weeks before their wedding."

"What? NO!"

"I think Izzy's available if you want to date her, but for now, just let Tyler rest there and he'll eventually wake up." Trent left the room as Ezekiel left in the other direction to go back to his ward. When Trent left, he spoke to the nurse about the lesson. "Ezekiel's made some more progress today, but I needed your blue sedative hoodie."

"What for?"

"For Tyler. He was freaking out about the massage part before our lesson today, even though he told us he was fine with it beforehand."

"Don't be stealing the hospital stuff again. I would fire you, but the client made sure he wants Zeke functioning. Why does he have to be a complete asshole though? He only thinks of himself. Never mind. Just report here again next week."

Trent left the hospital, leaving the sleeping Tyler behind.


	8. Lesson 6: A Movie to Remember

**Lesson 6: A Movie to Remember**

"I think it's time, but why her?" Two figures were in the dark corridor of the hospital talking to each other.

"Our first choice is already taken, and this one's what they want."

"I know she got married, but she can still help."

"I don't want a married woman helping him. I want a single one that he can love without the bonds of marriage. It'll be perfect!"

"Fine, Merkel. You can hire Izzy."

"Thank you nurse. I'm sure you can make sure she stays sane for me, okay?" The two figures go their separate ways.

* * *

"Ezekiel?" A voice was heard in the distance. "Wake up." It was the nurse. Zeke woke up from his long rest after the romance lesson. "You're going somewhere special today, so dress up in your best clothes."

After Zeke got dressed, the nurse took him to the usual therapy room, but instead of Trent and Tyler, he saw a different face with red hair and a green dress. "Hi there! Whoo!" She screamed at the shocked Ezekiel.

"Who are you, eh?"

"Don't you remember? It's me Izzy! Hahaha. We're going to see a movie today! I already got the tickets!"

"What's the movie?"

"It's a surprise silly. You know how to get a taxi right?"

"Again?" Zeke thought to himself. He hoped it wasn't the same taxi driver that he had the last two trips out of the hospital. Ezekiel called the taxi service again as both he and Izzy left the hospital. To his surprise, the taxi had a different driver this time. After an uneventful trip to the theater, Zeke and Izzy left the taxi and entered the theater. After getting some popcorn, they take their seats waiting for the movie to start.

Five minutes later, the lights turn off, and a person with long black hair and a suit takes the stage. "Oh hai theater." He says to the audience. "My name is Tommy Witheau. Today, before movie starts, we shall learn what country I'm from."

"France!" one heckler shouted.

"Kazakhstan!" Another shouted.

"Space!" A third heckler said her piece, followed by the audience laughing.

"Yeah, Rigel V where your kind is, now go back there!" The second heckler added.

"Anyway, I am looking for two volunteer to teach how to proper actingah. How about pretty green redhead and blue toque guy."

Ezekiel and Izzy go to the front of the stage to meet with Tommy. "You two are in perfect attire for this exercise. Here is my world-famous foot a ball. You are to catch the ball when I throw it to you. I'll start with the girl." Tommy threw the football towards Izzy, however, she missed and the football landed in the audience. "Why, Lisa, why why?" Tommy shouted "You are tearing me apart, red-headed…" Before he could finish the famous line, his wig fell off his head and revealed a shaggy black-haired person. "Uh oh."

"Boo!" The audience booed at the fake Tommy Wiseau.

"Show's over. Just watch the film." Ezekiel and Izzy went back to their seats as the impersonator left to go backstage. Moments later, the film started. For most of the film, Ezekiel had no idea what was going on, or why anyone was laughing. Meanwhile, Izzy had the time of her life laughing at the horrible acting.

"Can we go, eh?" Ezekiel didn't want to watch the horrendous film.

"This movie's funny! I love it when people are hammy actors."

"I'm leaving." Zeke got up and went into the lobby, leaving his 'date' behind. He noticed a voicemail from Trent on his cell phone. He called to see what the message was.

Hi Zeke? This is Trent. Sorry I couldn't make it this week. Tyler's family tried to sue me for trying to seduce him with that hoodie. Luckily, the judge thought the lawsuit was frivolous, so I'm free of all charges. I'm also calling to let you know that the finale of Chris's new season is filming soon. Maybe the three of us could make it to the U.S. to set up a moment Chris will never forget. How is Izzy doing? I know she's crazy, but only she would pick _The Room_ as her favorite movie. Just bear with it and maybe you'll get a laugh or two. Also, happy Canada Day.

After a pause, Ezekiel went back into the theater to rejoin Izzy. When he entered, he noticed several spoons all over the place. He made it to his old seat where Izzy was laughing to death. "You missed the spoon throwing part." She jokingly said to her friend.

"Oh?" The two of them continued watching the movie despite all of the loud noise and spilt popcorn throughout the theater. The rest of the movie went as normal until the final scene. Izzy took the opportunity to say her catch phrase, "BOOM BOOM!"

Within seconds, the walls exploded. People ran for their lives. The theater screen burned down within seconds. Ezekiel had no idea what was going on, only to run away from the burning movie theater. He continued running towards the parking lot, calling the taxi driver to take him somewhere that wasn't the theater. The only place he knew of was the hospital. After he got in the cab, he got a call.

"Zeke? Are you OK?"

"Yeah, Tyler. I'm OK. Izzy blew up the theater."

"I heard that. She's gone too far. Come to my house. My parents already know about you, and you can rest here a while. I'll give you the address."

Zeke wrote the address down and showed it to the driver. They took off immediately afterwards.

Meanwhile, Izzy had a craving of more destruction. She knew her theater stunt was only the beginning as she laughed hysterically at the loss of life. She even continued after the RCMP arrived to arrest her. "Izzy Luna! Aliases E-Scope, Explosivo, Esquire, Brainzilla, Mama Luigi, and El Fuego, we have a warrant for your arrest. Surrender peacefully, and no one will get hurt!"

"You'll never ever get me alive!" The lunatic pulled off a backflip and disappeared into the shadows in a puff a smoke.

Ezekiel made it to Tyler's house and tanked the driver for his services. He was nervous, and shocked about what just happened. He approached the porch, and Tyler answered the door. "Zeke? You made it!"

"Why am I here? What happened?"

"Izzy's gone mad. She blew up the hospital and the theater. The RCMP's after her. I don't know how she did it, but at least you're safe." Tyler gave Zeke a hug as both of them sat down to watch the evening news.

This is CBC with the local evening news. We have a late breaking story involving a mysterious red-headed girl in two cases of arson, one of which is a local Toronto hospital. The death toll is in the hundreds with many elderly and sick dead. If you catch this girl, report the RCMP immediately. Consider her armed and extremely dangerous…

"Why would she do that?" Zeke asked.

"It's Izzy. She's off her meds."

"Maybe that's why she loved that movie so much."

"What movie?"

"We saw _The Room. _It was horrible."

"Never heard of it. Well, after dinner, I'll show you your room. Tomorrow, you'll be going to a real high school."

The two boys ate their dinner and watched some TV.

* * *

Meanwhile, near the wreckage of the hospital, two figures were arguing over something. "This is all your fault, blond boy."

"No, she has to take responsibility for her actions! You had to know that. You knew her last year."

"I don't know her at all."

"Don't play with me. You've been covering up your own death by changing your name. How many names was it already, Mildred? Seven?"

Blaineley, now revealed, gasped at the accusation. "Go back to your failed talk show. At least mine was successful."

"Yeah, until you were fired for that sex scandal. You were on my rival network until you were fired, then became a Total Drama Aftermath host, then a contestant, and then finally strapped to a dolly and buried at sea. If anyone is a failure at hosting a talk show, it's you. At least I still have mine!"

"So? This is just a scoop. Chris dug me up from the ocean and sent me to this now rubble of a hospital so I can get a new life for myself."

"Then you tried to cover it up as a nurse at the hospital. You tried to keep Zeke out of the public eye, preventing him from seeing the world."

"This wasn't about him, and it wasn't about you until you butted into this whole mess. If anything, you're just as guilty as I am. You're exploiting a teenage boy."

"No, I'm trying to help him. I paid two guys to act as therapists, and they have done a wonderful job. I've had enough! Consider yourself arrested again." The blond figure left, leaving Blaineley behind.


	9. Lesson 7: First Day of School

**AN: This was on my DeviantArt page since August, but I never put it here. It's the last lesson in this story, so I'm going to mark it as complete. To continue, read Total Drama Colors. It needs love.**

**Lesson 7: First Day of School**

"Time to wake up, Zeke." Mrs. Collins was already at Ezekiel's room, as he continued to sleep past the sounding alarm. Tyler was already awake and getting ready for school. Five more minutes passed. "Ezekiel Jebediah Kolanski! You'd better wake up or else!" She kept pounding on the door, eventually waking up the sleepyhead. Zeke got dressed in a different outfit this time, since he didn't want to bring attention to himself as a sexist. His new outfit was a greenish-blue shirt he borrowed from Tyler, and some cargo shorts that were a little loose for him.

He went downstairs and noticed that Tyler was also wearing a different outfit than his usual track suit. He wore a red shirt with a similar pair of cargo shorts. However, he was also wearing flip flops, whereas Zeke continued wearing his old shoes. The two boys ate breakfast and got into Mrs. Collins's car, as they left for school. "So Zeke? How'd you meet Tyler?"

"We were both on Total Drama Island together. I didn't do that well, and ended up falling into a volcano."

"How did you survive that?"

"No idea. I can't remember half of it."

"You've got to be kidding. No one could survive being immersed in lava."

"He's telling the truth, Mom." Tyler interrupted. "Can we change the subject? I've got a track meet tomorrow and I'm getting sick of talking about Total Drama all the time."

"Sorry, son. I forgot about that. Maybe your dad can take you to that. Zeke, you should go too."

"I'm not sure about that, eh?"

"Tyler's done so much for you. The least you could do is watch him at his track meet."

The car arrived at the school, and Ezekiel was in awe of what he saw. The buildings seemed almost entirely made of glass and stucco. Tyler was the first to welcome him to his new school. "Welcome to West End High. Stick with me for now. Your schedule's the same as mine for a few days."

"Okay."

The two boys went into the main building to find their first class, Biology. They sat down in their desks which looked like they were about to fall apart anytime. The teacher walked in, wearing a white lab coat and donning a full white beard and bald head. "Good morning class." The teacher said with a booming voice. "We have a new student with us today. I would like you to meet Ezekiel Kolanski."

Ezekiel stood up. "Uh, hi eh." The other students started to laugh at his voice, with a few even making some nasty remarks.

"Class, settle down. We must start today's lesson on varieties of primates. Can anyone tell me what a chimpanzee is?"

Ezekiel was the first to raise his hand. "A monkey?"

"First day huh?" The teacher was not impressed. "YOU FAIL BIOLOGY MY BOY! Chimps are not monkeys!"

Another student raised her hand. "An ape?"

"Good girl. Chimps are part of what we like to call apes. Others include gorillas, gibbons, and orangutans."

Zeke was certain that he knew the answer. He whispered to Tyler about his concern about failing.

"Don't worry. You shouldn't take everything literally. You'll do fine, Zeke."

Zeke and Tyler continued through their classes until lunch time. After getting their food, they sat down and talked about the track meet. "You ready for the big meet tomorrow?"

"Yeah. You should go."

"Maybe. What's it like here?"

"Everyone here's usually to themselves. Obviously you have jocks like me, and nerds over there. Everyone's part of a big pecking order. Don't worry about it."

"How do I know where I would go?"

"Just stick with me for now. To be honest, you'll be socially dead if I let you out there on your own. Let's just ease you in."

"Hey Tyler, mind if I sit here?" Another jock came to the table where Zeke and Tyler were eating.

"Sure, What's up Brent?"

"Coach just told me to tell you you're off the team."

"What?"

"You missed practice for the last six weeks."

"What? My mom told Coach that I was excused. I've been practicing on my own."

"Talk to him about it."

"Zeke, I've got to go. Try to stay out of trouble." Tyler and Brent left as Ezekiel was all alone in the cafeteria. He quietly ate his food as other students stared at him. "Where are this kid's manners? Can't he chew with his mouth closed?" One student commented to another.

One of the students approached Ezekiel, and asked him something rudely, "Well well, new kid? Who raised you? The bears?"

"No."

The student punched Zeke in the stomach, starting a fight. Ezekiel tried to defend himself as the other student continued dealing blows. Moments later, several teachers broke up the fight and sent both students to the office. Ezekiel didn't know where the office was, but he followed the other student and found his way there.

"Kolanski?" A voice was heard through the Intercom. Ezekiel went inside the office when a stern-looking principal was waiting to talk to him "I understand it's your first day of public school, but I cannot condone fighting in the cafeteria like this. I'm going to have you serve detention for one hour after school today."

"Detention?"

"Yes. Report to Room 306 at 3:00." The principal was done speaking to Zeke, and then called the next student in as Zeke left. "Charles?"

Ezekiel felt bummed already after being assigned detention. He spent the rest of lunchtime looking for Tyler, but there was no sign of him until the next bell rang. Both of them went into history class and sat next to each other. "Zeke? You look down."

"I got detention. Some kid beat me up."

"What? That's absurd. Coach gave me detention since I missed too much practice."

"Why were you missing practice, eh?"

Tyler then whispered into Zeke's ear, "For you."

"Mr. Collins?" The teacher looked towards Tyler's direction. "Please pay attention." The teacher continued with his lecture and class got out.

After school, Tyler and Zeke went to the detention room. Most of the hour was uneventful as no one was allowed to say a word. After the required hour passed, everyone left the school. Tyler's mom was not happy about what happened. "Why were you in detention? Both of you!"

"Some kid beat me up." Ezekiel gave his defense first.

"Coach kicked me out of track."

"What?"

Tyler explained what happened as all three of them went back to the house. When they went inside, Tyler's mom turned on the television to the news.

This just in: TV reality show host and chef sidekick arrested in Fresno, California for the attempted murder of a sixteen year old boy last year and dire injury to twenty four teenagers in the state of Hawaii. Since Chris was arrested for additional crimes in the State of California, he awaits trial in the city of Pasadena, where he was located to earlier this afternoon.

"Wow. They finally did it." Tyler said to Zeke as they sat down on the couch.

"What?"

"They got 'em!"

The news broadcast continued. "Anyone who was affected by Chris McLean's arrest can travel to Pasadena to witness the trial first hand."

"What do you think, eh?"

"Not sure. They got a judge and everything for the trial."

"Boys?" Tyler's mom interrupted.

"Huh?"

"I got two plane tickets in the mail today, and I was wondering what they were for."

"Plane tickets?" Ezekiel asked.

"Well, I'll just throw these…"

"Stop!" Tyler wanted to see the tickets. "Who are they from?"

"It says they're from Total Drama. I'm getting sick of this show. I should never have signed you up."

"It was Dad's idea!"

Tyler and his mom continued arguing as Ezekiel continued watching TV. He knew he wanted to see the trial, and the producers were happy to help, but he didn't know if he had enough money to survive in Pasadena.

"Zeke?" Tyler asked.

"What?"

"We're going to Pasadena tomorrow. We're picking up Trent and all three of us are going to the airport in the morning. Get some sleep, man."

Ezekiel stopped watching television and went to sleep.


End file.
